We rode into town the other day
Just me and my Daddy
He said I'd finally reached that age
And I could ride next to him on a horse
That of course was not quite as wide

We heard a crowd of people shouting
And so we stopped to find out why
And there was that man
That my dad said he loved
But today there was fear in his eyes

So I said "Daddy, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why is He dressed in that bright purple robe?
I'll bet that crown hurts Him more than He shows
Daddy, please can't you do something?
He looks as though He's gonna cry
you said he was stronger than all of those guys
addy, please tell me why
Why does everyone want him to die?"

Later that day the sky grew cloudy
And Daddy said I should go inside
Somehow he knew things would get stormy
Boy was he right
But I could not keep from wondering
If there was something he had to hide

So after he left I had to find out
I was not afraid of getting lost
So I followed the crowds
To a hill where I knew men had been killed
And I heard a voice come from the cross

And it said, "Father, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for My robe?
This crown of thorns hurts Me more than it shows
Father, please can't You do something?
I know that You must hear My cry
I thought I could handle the cross of this size
Father, remind Me why
Why does everyone want Me to die?
When will I understand why?"

"My precious Son, I hear them screaming
I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming
But soon I will clothe You in robes of My own
Jesus, this hurts Me much more than You know
But this dark hour I must do nothing
Though I've heard Your unbearable cry
The power in Your blood destroys all of the lies
Soon You'll see past their unmerciful eyes
Look there below, see the child
Trembling by her father's side
Now I can tell You why
She is why You must die"

~Nichole Nordeman

So for some reason God brought this to my heart this week. I am not very good at explaining things, so bear with me. I was sitting wondering why I always have to act like I am good? Like I have a perfect life, and nothing ever goes wrong. Why I can't just tell someone life's not been great. Whenever I think about telling someone I am not having the best day, a little voice says to me "you don't want to burden them with all your problems." But in the Bible it tells us "to confess our sins to eachother and pray for eachother so that you may be healed." I am not ok, I am not alright. And yet I lie and say I am fine many a time just to keep from "burdening my friends." I have had many people tell me they are afraid to talk to me about problems, because they don't think I can relate. Because they don't think I  have problems of my own. I guess thats kind of what made me realize that I am letting Satan win whenever I lie through my teeth and say I am good. Its hard for me, because for many years I have kept things to myself. But I am telling you right now I am not alright. I struggle everyday. I fight with my parents and my siblings because I am being selfish. I lie to make my life more interesting. I gossip at school. I make fun of people when I shouldn't. I am not being a "shining star" in a "crooked and depraved generation." I am lazy. I neglect God and read a book or watch TV instead of spending time with Him and praising Him. Will you pray for me?